And the dam breaks
I’ve spent most of today crying. Needless to say, I miss my boyfriend ridiculous amounts. I miss the life we had together. For me, everything was perfect and in the blink of an eye it was all taken away from me. My whole life was uprooted. I’m scared to go back home next week because I know I’m just going to miss what I had and what will never be. Even though I’m 2,500 miles away, I still have constant reminders of him and being home those reminders will increase ten fold. I see his favorite chocolate peanut butter in the store and I start crying. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when I see all of those places where we shared intimate and special moments.
We lived in a co-op together with twenty of our closest friends. Now, I’m terrified to step foot in that house even though there’s no where else I’d rather be. I never knew that house without my boyfriend since I met him the day I moved in. It holds so many memories for me, both good and bad. It represents the beginning and end of the most influential relationship I’ve had to date. I’m excited to see my friends, but what I wouldn’t give to walk in and just have my life return to normal – to find him cooking in the kitchen, working on music for his next show, playing in the living room with our dog.
More than anything I’d like to hear his voice and smell his scent while he gives me a hug and welcomes me home.